Our tooth fairy should be fired

29 Aug

Last night was the fourth or fifth time she’s neglected to come by our house when one of the kids has lost a tooth. Unfortunately, it seems to be mostly child #2 who has suffered from this inadequate customer service, and she is very vocal about her displeasure. She has a hard time being pleasant he morning anyway (can’t blame her for that), but this morning there seemed to be no reason for her foul disposition.

I have to admit, I didn’t notice her bad mood. I had just come in from a run and all I was thinking about was getting my stinky self into the shower. Steve, being the good and observant parent that he is, asked her in a kind voice, “What’s wrong this morning?” She took something out from behind her back and said, “The Tooth Fairy didn’t come last night.” I looked down into her outstretched hand and saw the little turquoise jewelry box she had grabbed last night to put her tooth in. She shook it to emphasize the fact that there was a tooth and not cold, hard cash inside.

Geez. Seriously? Again? Our tooth fairy sucks. Like I mentioned before, this is not the first time Miss Tooth has screwed up. It’s usually on a weekend and we’ve told our kids that she doesn’t work on Sundays. That covers both Saturday and Sunday nights, since we’re not quite sure what time she arrives at our house. But seriously. Doesn’t she have a smartphone or something? Can’t she set herself a reminder instead of playing ZDefense, that cool blasting game she downloaded from the Amazon appstore for free last week? Or was she too wrapped up in catching up on her RSS feed reading? Or writing an extra blog entry because she was excited that someone mentioned her in another blog yesterday?

Whatever the reason, I sure hope she gets her act in gear tonight. I have a feeling that #2 wrote Miss Tooth a nasty letter today. I think Miss Tooth is going to have to pay extra for her sucky job performance.

Or maybe I should cut her some slack. Maybe she was blown way off course because she was taking care of children in New England this weekend. Maybe Hurricane Irene carried her all the way to the Corner Islands.

Yeah, I didn’t know where they were, either. (from althistory.wikia.com)

After she comes tonight (I’m hoping she decided to use her Droid X for something…smart…like setting a reminder), I’ll let you know what her excuse was.

Has your tooth fairy ever flaked out on you?


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