It’s called Labor Day for a reason

3 Sep

I plan on working my indentured servants children this weekend. I usually have a small list of chores for them to do, and when they’re done, they’re allowed to play video games until one of them snarks at a sibling one too many times. Then all electronics get turned off and I am named World’s Worst Mom. This happens every weekend.

Not this weekend.

Little do they know that I’ve already drawn up a list of things I want to get done this weekend, and they figure prominently in this plan. For instance, instead of letting them watch cartoons when they wake up at ugly o’clock on Saturday morning, I’m going to force myself out of bed and take all 4 of them out into the front yard to weed the flower garden before the sun gets high enough to fry our poor albino Irish skin. Then, I have the devious idea of making #1 clean his desk off. This will not go over well, since it’s a well-known fact that his desk is not for homework, but for books, dirty socks, large toys, and stuff he wants to hide from his sisters.

While he’s doing that, I’m going to have #3 clean out her toy cubbies. She’s been stuffing all sorts of crap into them for over a year now and the crap overfloweth. I think my plan for #2 is some vacuuming and dusting around the house. #4 will probably just roam around, messing with everyone else’s stuff or drawing in all of our books with pencils she finds laying around. She’s good at vandalism/graffiti. For only 19 months old, she’s got mad fine motor skilz. Or she might resort to harassing the cat or shouting at me to watch “Ah Ho” – Mickey Mouse. Yeah, Mickey sings this song “Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggety dog,” so #4 thinks his name is Hot Dog – Ah Ho. Her second favorite is Boo Doo – I introduced her to “Blue’s Clues” via Netflix on my phone while we were at the eye doctor with #1. Nothing like the mobile version of the electronic pacifier.

Then when it cools off again outside, we’ll go do some more weeding. Darn scourge. It grows when you’re not looking at it. I predict the kids will be ticked because they only get to play video games on non-school nights, but I only get free child labor on the weekends. Mom trumps Nintendo. And to add insult to injury, Saturday lunch is our fridge cleanout meal. The dreaded leftovers. #2 threatens to run away from home every week because she hates leftovers so much. She has yet to make good on that.

I mentioned to Steve that I’d like to figure out where the pop-up camper is leaking, so Friday after work, he took a good long look at it. The verdict is that it needs a new ceiling and new canvas sides. I think his plans for the weekend include removing the canvas sides and taking the roof off. Wow. Good thing we only paid $500 for the camper, since I think we’ll be putting in at least 3 times that to repair it. But it is 30+ years old and in good shape otherwise.

So we will not be barbecuing, picnicking, camping, or going to the lake for Labor Day weekend. We will be laboring. What are your plans?


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