You know how people ask, “If you could have any dinner with any person from history, who would you choose?” I hate that question. It assumes a lot and puts some serious pressure on me:
- Am I a good enough conversationalist? I mean, the person I would choose is most likely going to be some kind of mover and/or shaker, and probably had lots of experience in the world. Will he/she really want to hear about the recessed light fixture I bought on my trip to Lowe’s today? It’s too big for the place we want to put it, so I’m going to have to return it. Yeah – see? Not exactly stellar chatter for a dinner party.
- Am I a good enough cook? I figure we’re going to be having dinner at my house, because if we go out anywhere, throngs of onlookers will overwhelm us. Why? Because there’s a historically important zombie in the restaurant. I imagine we’d cause a scene. So back to the menu. I had two cooking disasters this week alone – one of the things I made is called Rouladen Rats.
- Is my house clean enough? I will answer that with a resounding NO. There are 6 people who live here, and not one is a professional housekeeper. It’s crazy how poorly this bunch of amateurs (who have no desire to turn pro) keeps things around here.
These are the things I think about. I’ve decided that instead of entertaining someone, I’ll just spy on them. Easier all the way around, plus I’m a little shy. These are some of my top fly spy-worthy moments:
- Apollo 8 – the first time humans saw the earth from space with their own eyes out of a low Earth orbit. Yeah, I had to look this one up to get the facts straight.
- This might be kind of morbid, but I wonder what was going on in Pompeii when Vesuvius erupted? Was it thatfast and unexpected? Was the lava too fast for flies, too?
- I would like to have been in Ed Sullivan’s studio when the Beatles played.
- The painting of the Mona Lisa. The good thing about being a fly is that I could come and go and skip the boring parts.
- Jesus’s resurrection. How early did he come out of the tomb? Was the sun up? Were there angels there? Was the air electric? Yeah, this one is actually my #1 moment, but if I listed it first, everything else would have seemed lame in comparison.
Probably not the same as your list, but that “who would you have dinner with” question really bugs me, but I’ll ask it anyway. What famous person from history would you have dinner with (assuming you have more ambition and better conversational skills than I do)? Or where would you want to be a fly on the wall? I’m curious.