I keep hearing Cajun Man’s voice. Remember him? Adam Sandler, Weekend Update on SNL in the early 90s? No? Take a peek here. If you’re not interested in watching the whole thing, skip forward to 1:44, and hear Cajun Man speak one word:
Yes, I got another rejection letter Saturday. We had been at a wedding for most of the afternoon and part of the early evening, and my writing had been the topic of more than the usual number of conversations (not by my doing, either). The last conversation was about the fact that I was waiting to hear from the latest publisher about my Stephen F. Austin book. Because other people seemed to be genuinely interested in this endeavor, I was feeling hopeful and encouraged about my new career path.
This makes me think about Schrödinger’s Cat. Familiar with that? It’s a physics theory (I think). As much as I, a history major, can understand it, there’s a cat in a box with some poison or something. Until the box is opened, nobody knows if the cat is alive or dead. So it’s both alive and dead. Or it’s neither alive nor dead. I have to admit, my knowledge of this is limited to what I’ve learned from “The Big Bang Theory.”
My manuscript is alive until I open the rejection letter. And yet, it’s still unpublished until I open the same letter. It’s alive and dead simultaneously. As long as the box is unopened, I don’t hear Cajun Man saying, “Ree-jheck-SHONE,” and I don’t feel dee-pres-SHONE. Not that I’m depressed today. I was ticked Saturday, because the rejection letter was another form letter. Someone filled in the date with a pen after they pulled the letter out of a file folder of identical letters with blanks-for-dates. I only imagine them pulling the letter out of the file because the attitude of the thing was, “we’re too busy to write you a real letter, so we’re sorry that we’re sending you this ‘you suck’ form letter instead.” I imagine they keep the Xeroxed generic “buzz off” letters in a file folder somewhere labeled FOR STINKY MANUSCRIPTS.
Which really sucks for them because I have a BUILT IN AUDIENCE. 30,000+ kindergarten classes in the state of Texas! Who wouldn’t jump all over that? Apparently, this publishing house. That’s ok though, because I’m going to send out the manuscript again this week. One of these days, this book WILL be published. And I will be avenged! Mwa-ha-haaaaa….
But for now, I’m going to tuck the letter away in my stack of rejections I’m collecting for taxes next year in case the IRS doesn’t think I’m a real writer. I think two generic buzz off letters qualifies me as a writer. I would have preferred one “you’re hired” letter, though.