Curly-headed People Have Strong Emotions. Did You Know This?

7 Nov

Today I’m dipping my toes into new water – I’ve invited a fellow member of the blogosphere to be my guest poster today. So, everyone, meet Shalini from Reading (and chickens). Her sense of humor cracks me up! I especially love her pie charts, but her Twilight vampire pictures are worth a good laugh, too. So after you read this post, you should click on over to her blog for some chuckles.

Without further ado, read on to learn why those of us with curly hair have such strong feelings…

Why Curly-Haired People Hate You

And by “you,” I mean YOU with the gloriously naturally straight hair. Oh, I know, I know. You’re saying, “Straight hair is boring! I only WISH I could have the body and bounce of someone with natural curls!”

We know you’re lying to us curlheads. You know why? Because people don’t consider curly hair professional. Because all those magazine spreads with beautiful women have STRAIGHT hair. But mostly because when you have a good hair day, you look like this:

  

That’s right; you look like a freaking supermodel with your bouncy shiny STRAIGHT silky hair.

When a curlhead has a good hair day, we look like this:

 

Yup, we look like a cross between Carrot Top and a deranged psychotic clown.

When you have a bad hair day, you look like this:

Oh, poor you with your non-voluminous but still totally socially acceptable head of hair. BOO HOO.

When a curlhead has a bad hair day, though?

We’re Don King bred with Phil Spector and a side of Bride of Frankenstein.

And that’s why God invented flat irons. And lying.

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31 Responses to “Curly-headed People Have Strong Emotions. Did You Know This?”

  1. MommyBot (@MommyBot2) November 7, 2011 at 8:47 am #

    “And that’s why God invented flat irons. And lying.”

    -AND hats. From one curly-headed gal to another. I hear that. I know my bad-hair day pigtails stopped being cute somewhere after 30… but what’s a sleep-deprived mom with a giant blond ‘fro to do? I’ll tell you: Pigtails and hats. Ugh.

    • That Nolen Chick November 7, 2011 at 8:50 am #

      Ha! Yes, hats! Glad to know you’re one of us, MommyBot!

  2. Katie Mae November 7, 2011 at 9:52 am #

    ❤ ❤ ❤ It is so true! Especially the "unprofessional" thing. Also, I am so glad I could pose for your drawings, they look just like me!

    • That Nolen Chick November 7, 2011 at 10:13 am #

      Thank you for so graciously donating your time to model for Shalini! I had no idea! 😉

  3. Swistle November 7, 2011 at 9:52 am #

    As a high-school-aged babysitter, I made a rapturous comment about one child’s naturally curly hair to her parents, saying that I wished my hair was that gorgeous. The dad (whose hair had been inherited by the child) said flatly “No, you don’t, you just think you do.” (He didn’t say this in front of the child, who truly did have gorgeous curls.) (Which, I confess, yes, you’re right about what it looked like on bad hair days.)

    • That Nolen Chick November 7, 2011 at 10:15 am #

      Glad he had the presence of mind to not say that in front of her. Curlyheads have enough baggage – most of it being on the inside of our heads about what’s on the outside of our heads.

  4. Diane November 7, 2011 at 9:55 am #

    Those straight-haired ladies will never know the plight of us trapezoid-heads.

    • That Nolen Chick November 7, 2011 at 10:13 am #

      Ha! I used to judge the quality of my hairdo by how close to a the shape of an oval I could I get it.

      • MommyBot (@MommyBot2) November 7, 2011 at 12:08 pm #

        LOL! Me too!!! I always enter the “beauty salon” talking about fixing my TRIANGLE head… and they NEVER understand. “See how it looks like a tent? I don’t want that anymore… what can you do?”
        Blank looks.
        Sigh.

  5. My Courageous Life November 7, 2011 at 5:08 pm #

    This post was hilarious!

  6. Craftwhack November 7, 2011 at 6:48 pm #

    Okay, I’ll be the first straight-head to comment. You’re wrong, wrong, wrong and I take offense at this post. I’ll never be able to get over my classic, straight, shiny bowl cut from 1977. Please apologize at once.

    • That Nolen Chick November 7, 2011 at 7:28 pm #

      Did you have the Dorothy Hamil cut? I *so* wanted that. Not so much now. Hope you’re not scarred for life.

  7. cadiz12 November 7, 2011 at 9:28 pm #

    and you didn’t even mention the humidity. we could straighten and add products, but if there’s water in the air, forget it–back to frizzball city.

  8. Laura Diniwilk November 7, 2011 at 10:52 pm #

    If I could have one superpower it would be to have the kind of hair that I could do absolutely nothing to and have it look nice. Wash and go is the term, I believe? Instead, I have a half wavy, half curly, frizzy mess. Sigh.

  9. twisteddomesticgoddess November 7, 2011 at 11:05 pm #

    LOVE this post!!! My mom has nautrally curly hair and has always worn it short.I used to ask her why didn’t she grow it long and the whole triangle explanation came up. She’s forever complaining that no one gets how to cut her bangs and her “poof” lol

    • That Nolen Chick November 8, 2011 at 11:33 am #

      It’s like a whole ‘nother breed of person – the Poof Stylist.

  10. veryVERYbusymom November 7, 2011 at 11:19 pm #

    My hair is mostly straight, but I have a ton of two-inch long hairs framing my face (no, they’re not bangs) and they stick out all over the place like I’m hovering near electricity. I really do want curly hair, but not enough to risk getting a bad perm. If that happens, a hat isn’t enough. I’ll need to buy a wig. And you can bet I’ll buy a CURLY wig.

    • That Nolen Chick November 8, 2011 at 11:37 am #

      I’m 95% curly with my 5% straight on the left side of my head. It’s odd. Why can’t they all just get along?

      I had a wig I used for Halloween. It rocked! It was long and curly and I got it from a drag queen website because I have an unusually large head, in addition to all the curly hair I have to shove underneath the wig. https://thatnolenchick.wordpress.com/2011/09/16/hows-this-for-an-alter-ego/ This is me wearing the wig another time.

  11. iampotassium November 8, 2011 at 4:12 pm #

    lol!!! Love it!!!! from a fellow curly-haired person… :):)

    • That Nolen Chick November 8, 2011 at 4:14 pm #

      So what shape is your hair, Ms. Potassium? Are you triangular or trapezoidal? Trapezoidish?

  12. deProfundis November 8, 2011 at 4:52 pm #

    Its true, in fact 41% of all people take people with curly hair less seriously. (well at least according to LazyBoy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkvPZ94Yrrc)

    Oh, and followed Shalini here, but I’ll peruse your other viritual wares since I stopped in.

    • That Nolen Chick November 9, 2011 at 1:29 pm #

      If it’s on The Interwebs, it MUST be true – especially if it’s on YouTube. (insert knowing look here)

      Hope you wandered around a bit and found something to your liking! Thanks for visiting!

  13. Miava November 8, 2011 at 6:43 pm #

    Ah!!Haha !! 😀 .. No one has worse hair than my sister. It has the texture of a horse tail with some curl. Really. So she dyed it orange-ish. I’m not sure why she thinks that makes it better?

    • That Nolen Chick November 9, 2011 at 1:30 pm #

      LOL! Yes, the color must help. Maybe it distracts people from the other, ahem, interesting features?

  14. The Suniverse (@TheSuniverse) November 9, 2011 at 8:30 am #

    My hair is too curly to flat iron outside of a salon, and frankly, I’m lazy.

    So instead, I embrace the curly and just pretend that I always wanted to look like Rosanna Rosannadana. Who doesn’t?

  15. Jennifer Fabulous November 9, 2011 at 1:52 pm #

    It’s funny because I grew up desperately wanting curly hair! I curled it every single day in high school (slept in painful rollers) and pretty much every week when I was a reporter. It gave me such volume and made my drab long hair come alive. 🙂 I always envied girls with naturally curly hair too. Like, seriously envied to the point of fantasizing I had their locks. We’re like opposite twins!

  16. That Nolen Chick November 9, 2011 at 2:08 pm #

    The grass is always greener. Or the hair is always better…take your pick.

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