I have an owie. Something happened before Christmas, I’m not sure what, but I went to the doctor earlier this week. He said I have DeQuervain’s tenosynovitis. It’s tendinitis, but that other name is more impressive, right? He also put me in this hand thing – a spica splint. It hinders my movement, my thumb gets numb when I sit with my hand on my computer mouse for longer than three minutes, and I manage to miss the space bar every single time I aim for it as I type. But, as you can see from the picture above, it hasn’t hindered my ability to carry out my most important right-handed task.
So if you hold your hand out in front of you with your palm perpendicular to the floor, you’ll find a small bony knot about an inch below the base of your thumb. The tendon that runs on top of that bone is what hurts. I think someone needs to be sued, don’t you? Because of Mr. DeQuervain and his tonsofsinusitis, I can’t type well, thus affecting my
I blame the following activities, since they’re the ones that hurt the most to do now. Makes sense that they’re the ones that caused this brouhaha in the beginning.
- pouring milk from heavy gallon containers for my kids
- pulling wet laundry out of the washer
- picking up Baby Tay
Do you see the same problem I do? Yup. Nobody to sue here. Well, to be honest, there’s one more activity that is tricky/painful right now: typing anything on my smartphone. I use a swipe typing app where I slide my finger/thumb along the keyboard instead of pressing each key. Before this horribly debilitating injury, I was a right-thumb swiper. But I can’t do it now, what with my infirmity and all. Cha-ching! I see a candidate in my quest for remuneration. In fact, I see a few: Google (for making Android phones), Motorola (for making my phone), and the Swype App. While I’m at it, I might as well sue Apple also, since they’re the ones that brought us touch screen toys in the first place. How about Steve Jobs’s estate, too?
The doctor said it would take about three weeks for this to heal up. I hope I can get my payout before then. I think the splint would be good for the sympathy jury vote, don’t you?
P.S. No suing will happen, lest you think I’m after an easy buck. Well, I am after an easy buck, but not this way.